i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
