So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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