I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize