you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize