whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
