Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
