i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
