That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
