there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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