Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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