What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
