Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize