just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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