I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
vagina is talking i cant
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
