No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
