This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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