There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
