dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
