and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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