An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
