My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
