We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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