Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
