know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
