He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
40s are totally the cure
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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