he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
