Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
