so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
