these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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