I showed him my bush... on skype.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
