Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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