oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
