No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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