Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
