is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
