ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
