Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
