Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
