dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
