It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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