Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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