my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
