google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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