ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
