very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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