I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize