I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
