We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
