Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Randomize