Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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