He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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