Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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