Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
