My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
