I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
