Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
