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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever

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• (408): View more from California

  i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both

  (650): View more from California

  i think otters can do that

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  bonus check + party bus = big hot mess

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