Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
