I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
