u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
