i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
