bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
