I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
